oddlight

A Free friday

because I have 31 days annual leave accrued, I've been asked to take a day off every 2 weeks. Today was the first of such days.
I got up late (ooh 8:30am!) put my dvd burner in to be replaced (hey, it's one of those things that you never get time to do with a 'normal' working week) and went a signed up to the local video store (having only lived in Epping for 3 years, I figured it was about time) and rented "Kiss, kiss bang, bang" starring Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer and "Look both ways", an aussie film that I'm currently halfway through. Another thing that I'm currently halfway through is my fifth glass of red wine, so forgiveness please. ;)

last night Kristin and I went out for dinner (thai potang) and a movie (Syriana) in Newtown. I've been friends with her for about 4 years, and I think this was the first time we've seen each other twice in a week. It wasn't a date as such, you know the point where you know someone so well as a friend, you know that the next step is a world away, maybe two? I don't think either of us would be willing to throw away such a friendship for what could easily be a step down, so to speak. I love this city, but it is cannibalistic, it eats its young and only the strong and rich manage to stay here and survive. I'm envious of those ppl that have family here, they really don't know how good they have it. Fo me, if I lose my job or get sick or whatever, I'd really have no choice but to move 650 km back home, which would be terrible for me. To have that family home and that familiar support just a quick drive away is really something that is beyond reproach. I miss it so much everytime I hear somebody mention it with the ease of buying milk and bread.

I went to Carlingford Court today at lunchtime and happened upon my ex, Lisa having lunch with someone from work. I waved, she waved, and we went on our ways, how quickly so much changes. A different reality where she wrote her first name next to my last name, and we talked about having a turkish delight wedding cake, and made all those plans and dreams. Now summarised into plastic grins and plastic waves, unanswered calls and fast get-aways. Relationships can be wonderful things, but so often I find that they end up with you trying your damnest not to stuff up too much while having any insecurities thrown back in your face.

I'd love to find the right girl, but that phrase "the right girl" is so easy to write, but in reality, is something that is not about the content of one person or another, but the summation of where two people are in their lives + their histories + their dreams + chaos.

...I'll keep you posted on all developments. ;)

...till then, be well.